Friday, September 19, 2008

Letting Go of the need to Control

There are times in life when we feel the need to control. In fact I have felt it most of my life. I wanted to control circumstances, certain events, their outcomes, other people's reactions, thoughts, actions. Trying to control every aspect of life including the uncontrollables is the source of stress and unhappiness....and I have learnt this the hard way. Once we realise that neither do we truly 'own' anything nor can we truly 'control' others, life would be a lot simpler. We would realise then that whatever the situations that we face in life, the only thing that we can control are our own thoughts, feelings and action in response to a given situation. Funny that this simple fact hit me only when I was in the car the other day in the middle of a traffic jam in the city of Chennai(Madras). I  was fretting and cursing my luck for being late and then it suddenly occured to me that by honking and cursing the situation was not improving....In fact I was angry at not being able to control something that is uncontrollable i.e. to make the traffic move faster. 
Well most things are like this in life....without even stopping to think a moment we worry about what happened in the past or what may happen in the future even though both these situations are not in our control. Taking precaution and planning for the future is fine but trying to control the outcome is way beyond us. On being asked how he would handle the fast Australian wickets, I remember my favorite cricketer Rahul Dravid saying that he is not bothered much by the uncontrollables(the pitch). He said he would concentrate on what is within his control and thats his batting. He went on to help India register its first test win abroad at Sydney. 
One of my friends once told me "You know when the Gods laugh most? When we make plans!". This is not to discourage people from making plans or making them fatalistic. In fact one must have a clear plan, direction and purpose in life. However one also needs to hold on to it loosely and detach oneself from the outcome. Absurd as it may sound this is the only practical way to live a healthy life. Too much of our life is wasted in us fretting over the fact that our plans fell through. What we dont see is that when one plan fell through, it has created an opportunity for another to be put in place. So friends the next time you feel something hasn't worked for ur good, trust the higher plan, let go of the need to control and flow with life....Nothing can ever go wrong for this is your life.

3 comments:

spandana said...

Hi,
Wonderful piece of writing..I liked the way you have dealt with a subtle thing in such a convincing manner..Keep on writing...

mani300bc said...

Randeep,

Continue to write! Wish you all the best!

Manivannan

Deepika said...

thought provoking..keep writing..u write really well !!