Letting Go of the need to Control

There are times in life when we feel the need to control. In fact I have felt it most of my life. I wanted to control circumstances, certain events, their outcomes, other people's reactions, thoughts, actions. Trying to control every aspect of life including the uncontrollables is the source of stress and unhappiness....and I have learnt this the hard way. Once we realise that neither do we truly 'own' anything nor can we truly 'control' others, life would be a lot simpler. We would realise then that whatever the situations that we face in life, the only thing that we can control are our own thoughts, feelings and action in response to a given situation. Funny that this simple fact hit me only when I was in the car the other day in the middle of a traffic jam in the city of Chennai(Madras). I  was fretting and cursing my luck for being late and then it suddenly occured to me that by honking and cursing the situation was not improving....In fact I was angry at not being able to control something that is uncontrollable i.e. to make the traffic move faster. 

Well most things are like this in life....without even stopping to think a moment we worry about what happened in the past or what may happen in the future even though both these situations are not in our control. Taking precaution and planning for the future is fine but trying to control the outcome is way beyond us. On being asked how he would handle the fast Australian wickets, I remember my favorite cricketer Rahul Dravid saying that he is not bothered much by the uncontrollables(the pitch). He said he would concentrate on what is within his control and thats his batting. He went on to help India register its first test win abroad at Sydney. 

One of my friends once told me "You know when the Gods laugh most? When we make plans!". This is not to discourage people from making plans or making them fatalistic. In fact one must have a clear plan, direction and purpose in life. However one also needs to hold on to it loosely and detach oneself from the outcome. Absurd as it may sound this is the only practical way to live a healthy life. Too much of our life is wasted in us fretting over the fact that our plans fell through. What we dont see is that when one plan fell through, it has created an opportunity for another to be put in place. So friends the next time you feel something hasn't worked for ur good, trust the higher plan, let go of the need to control and flow with life....Nothing can ever go wrong for this is your life.

Whats in a name?

So here I am...Blogging for the first ever time! Better late than never I guess. When I racked my brains as to what my first ever blog post should be on, it didnt take me long to narrow down to that famous saying of Juliet Capulet "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Juliet rejects a name as an artificial and meaningless convention. This topic also happens to be the first ever time I spoke on stage…so all the more reason for picking this as my first blog topic.
In countries like ours, we have ceremonies running into days devoted to naming the new born. In most cases, the surname signifies the family name or the caste. Most Indonesians do not use a family name and stick to just one name while the Japanese usually do not use a middle name. In some Spanish countries, people have two last names: their mother's father's name and father's name! One has to really wonder then if these names are just labels or social identities. I for one have always been against display of one's social identity through names. It could be for the fact that I come for caste ridden country or even the fact that I use just a single word name.
However names also influence us. I had this one friend of mine with the name Shiv Sewak meaning Servant of Lord Shiva ( a Hindu God). He told me something very interesting. He was not a very religious person but the day he came to know the significance of his name, a transformation occured within him. He felt a natural attraction towards the Lord and today he is a devotee.
We have always been told never to judge a book by its cover. I have always tried to live my life that way. Sometimes a name as a social tag becomes very hard to shed and one is always viewed with some kind of bias. This is something that I have always tried to guard myself against. Allow every person to be the person she or he is actually before judging them. I am aware that my country(India) is named after a river (Indus) which flows today only in a small territory within India. Yet the change of the name does not take away the essence of the country. Whether the names have changed to Kolkatta, Mumbai, Chennai or Bengaluru, the spirit of the city has always remained the same. So the next time someone asks me why being a South-Indian I have a Punjabi sounding name, my answer to them would be "Whats In A Name?"